Dear Diary
by Chibi-chan
Summary: Marron reminisce her feeling for one of her bestfriend...Goten...is he JUST a friend for her...or, someone more special??


Dear Diary   
** by [Chibi-chan][1]**

****Author's notes :**   
**This is a Goten and Marron's fic...so if you hate this couple, you better leave now!!^_^ Anyway, I wrote this fic, because there isn't enough G&M fic out there!! So I would like to dedicate this fic to ALL G&M fans....hehe....oh, and I wrote this in Marron's point of view...enjoy!!**

_The Son's House, April 26th, XXXX_   
_Dear diary,_   
_I just had the MOST awful day!!!!!! Something bad just happen to him.........I gave him an advice....but, it's just breaking my heart more...........hhhhhhh, what can I do? I'm his bestfriend.....I have to give him the best advice, and I SHOULD be happy for him,......but I can't...........I just can't stand seeing him with that girl. And, I'm completely nothing compared to that girl!! She's a model!!!! And.......me.....I'm still unemployed!!!!!!! ARRGGHH!!!! I feel soooo terrible......did I do the right thing by telling him to fight for her love?? I really don't know.....................this is just TOO hard for me!!!! I can't believe the fact, that everything started when we were just little kids.........when I realized that feeling...................._

****

"Goten-kun!!!" I cried....seing he's hurt like that.   
"Run!! Marron-chan!!!! Run!!!!!" he yelled.   
But, the wolf keep attacking him, I'm so scared, I really don't know what to do.   
The wolf keep trying to bite him and scratching him. There's blood all over his body. I'm soooo scared, all I can do is crying, I felt very guilty. I keep yelling, "Tasukete(help)!! Tasukete!!!!!!" but of course no one will hear that, since we're in the middle of jungle. We're lost. And then suddenly there's this wolf.   
Oh, no!! Goten-kun got scratched, his arm bleeding, "Goten-kun!!!!!!"   
"Marron-chan!!!! RUN!!!!!" the wolf keep trying and trying to attack me, but Goten always block the wolf's way to me.   
"I-I--c--can't......" I sob. I was very stupid that time, I don't want to leave him there, but I also don't know what to do. Yeah...yeah, I know I was 5 by that time......but, at least....I have to do something, and I actually did!!!!!   
I grab the wolf's claw, I really don't know where did I have the courage to do that, maybe coz I was so angry and hurt seing Goten hurt just to save me.   
Anyway......it didn't work, coz the wolf scratch my face, and blood come out from my face, I cried as hard as I can. Goten was very shock seeing this, he got angry....and that's when, he transform into Super Saiya-jin.   
"Kaaaa....................meeeeee..................haaaaaaa...............meeeeeeee......................HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he blast that wolf. And, it burn the wolf.   
I cried and cried, although I know it was over.   
"Marron-chan........it's over........"   
I keep sobbing, "Ho--honto(really)??"   
"Yes........" he smiled, with blood all over his mouth.   
"B-but......why didn't you just transform into that blond haired thing from the beginning?? So, no one will get hurt....." I asked.   
He just smile, "Onii-san teach me not to get angry quickly, so I could control my power............so, when I fight, I never use my Super Saiya-jin form until it gets in an urgent situation...........I thought I could beat that wolf without have to transform to Super Saiyajin......hehe........."   
I don't know, where it came from...........but somehow I just..................hug him, and cry on his shoulder. He hug me back.

****

_We're lost in the woods for almost three days, until Yamcha-san found us. My dad keep saying thank god, I saw mom's worried face and then relief, but then she just smile. She never show me her real feelings, but I knew she loved me. Chichi-san keep crying and crying and keep hugging Goten._   
_Anyway, since then.....I actually think Goten is my hero!! He's my knight in shining armour!!!!!!!!! A feeling of 'like' him keep grew stronger. A feeling of 'always want to be near him' grew stronger. Especially, when Trunks-kun keep mocking me and stuff, Goten always step forward......if it's not to back me up, it's to comfort me._   
_Hhhhhhh...........well, those feelings stop when I was about 10.............and for 16 years, we've been bestfriends.....I'm soooo close with him, I help him to get some dates, I teach him how to flirt with girls and not to be shy around them. Which of course, it's very funny, because it's suppose to be Trunks who did all that, but, since 4 years ago, when he became the president of the C-Corp, he almost never have time to do things like that, so I replace him as Goten's bestfriend......^_^_   
_My friends always told me, being bestfriend with guys won't work, coz they'll end up loving each other. I never believe to that, coz I had fun being bestfriends with Goten. And, also I never have those feelings anymore! I always wonder why did my friends keep convincing me that, while it's very obvious me and Goten are nothing but bestfriends..........but, I guess I found out since........2 years ago.........which then, I regret not listening to my friends' advice.............._

****

DING DONG!!   
"Yeah....yeah, I'm coming!!" he open the door, "Marron!!"   
"Hi, Trunks-kun!! Not going to the office??" I asked him.   
"Heh.....well the president could be there as late as he want to......" he grinned.   
"So...........is Bra here? I promised her to teach how to sew........she said it's for school project or something, Pan is suppose to be here too, I guess...since she studies at the same school......."   
"Yeah......she's up there!"   
"Marron-chan!!!!!!!" Trunks' 12 years old sister run to me.   
"Bra-chan....................so, you're ready??"   
"I'm sooo ready!!!!" she answered.   
"Heh........that's weird........" Trunks burst out.   
"What? What's weird??" I asked him.   
"Oh, you know.......Bra.......sewing, I even can't picture that.........hehe......."   
"TRUNKS!!!! Pul-leeze.....so, I'm a little stupid, but that doesn't mean I'm not a good mother-to-be.........." she stick out her tongue.   
"Yeah, right.......going to the mall, love shopping........you call that a good mother-to-be??" Trunks underestimate her, as he walk away.   
"Why, you........." Bra was about to slap him, when I grab her arm.   
"Okay, okay......let's just start, okay??"   
"Oh, alright...........let's go upstairs.......Pan's waiting....." she said. But...suddenly....   
DING DONG!!!!   
The doorbell ring again, Bra run to the door and open it up, "Goten-kun!!"   
"Hi, Bra-chan!!!!!! So.........how's my fave bestfriend's sister??" he smiled and give Bra a little kiss on the cheek.   
Hhhhhh....I always jealous to Bra..........I wish I was 12.....^_^   
"Doing great!!!!!! In fact, Marron is here to teach me sew!!!!!!!!!"   
"Really....hmm......that's something new!!!!!" he smiled to me. I smiled at him back.   
"So......is Trunks here??" he asked.   
"Yeah!! Upstairs!!!!!!" I dunno why, but I'm the one who answered to that.   
He look up, "Oh....great!! Errr........Bra?? Can I borrow Marron for a moment??" he asked.   
"Eh??........urmm......alright, then......but, don't be too long!!!"   
"Okay!!" Goten grab my hand and drag me to the kitchen.   
"What is it, Goten??" I asked him.   
"Sssshhh...........*whisper*......I need your advice about this girl I've just met!!"   
My eyebrows meet each other, confused,.......".....so, why do we have to whisper??"   
"Hhhhhh...............when I asked her out, she reject me.......and Trunks kinda dislike this girl too.......that's why, he insist me NOT TO ask her out again..........but, I know I can ask for your advice....right??" he explained.   
I chuckled, "Ohhh......sure!! So, who's this lucky girl??" I asked him in a tease tone.   
He blushed and......DEG........why suddenly, I have the feeling that he's cute??   
"Paris......a country girl......she's very innocent......that's why I like her!! And, I want to ask her out soooo much!!!!!!"   
"But.....she rejected you......."   
"Yeah, but that's because she said she never go out with guys before!! So...I'm thinking I want to get to know her a little better first.....and then, y'know........ask her out as a friend.......hehe......."   
" 'Aaaaaaa......like a friend or a "friend".........??" I tease him.   
"C'mon!! Just tell me what to do, will ya??" he insist.   
"Alright......alright.....first of all................."

****

_So.........I gave him all kinda infos about shy and innocent girls, and how to deal with them!! By that time.....I thought, Paris might be just one of Goten's girl, that would last only for couple of weeks!! Until one night......believe it or not.......I had a fight with Goten....._

****

"Marron-chan!!!! What a surprise??" Chichi-san gave me a hug.   
"Konbanwa(good evening)!! Oba-san(aunty)!! Is Goten here? He promised me to go to the shopping mall together to pick presents for Trunks' birthday!!" I said that happily.   
"Oh?? But......he just left with Paris........."   
"Nani?" I was very dissapointed, coz it's the seventeenth time, he forgot our date.........well, not that kinda "date".....y'know what I mean........^_^   
"Alright, then......Chichi-san!! I'll just go by myself, then!!"   
"WAIT!!! Maybe........Pan-chan could accompany you!! Hang on a sec.........PAAAAANNN!!!!!!!!!!" she called her granddaughter.   
"Nandaiyoo, Obaa-san(what is it, grandma)???" she show up from the stairs.   
"Could you accompany Marron-chan here to the mall??"   
"SURE!!!!! I'll be glad too!!!! Wait a sec! I'll go change!!!!!!!" Pan run up to her room again.   
"Please, sit......."   
"Domo....oba-san.....(thanks, aunty)" I smiled to her.   
Five minutes later...we're riding off to Satan City!!!!!! And then, we headed to Satan Shopping Center!!!!

"Hmmmmmm.............I dunno, Pan-chan! What about that one??" I pointed a tie.   
"Ekkkhhh.....I can't choose!! I'm not pretty good with ties!!!! We REEAAALLYY should have Oji-san here!"   
"Let's just not talk about him.....shall we??" I walk to the other counter.   
"Eh?? What did you say?!" Pan asked me.   
"What? I just don't feel want to talk about him......"   
"Are you jealous??" Pan look at me suspicious.   
"Don't be silly, Pan!!!!! We're bestfriends.......why should I be jealous??" I chuckled.   
"But, Goten dissapointed you a lot of times now since Paris come, neh??"   
"W-what?? Noooo......don't be silly!!! I'm happy for him!!!! It's the longest relationship he had ever had!! They're 6 months, 5 days now!!!!!!"   
Pan gasping, "You're counting??" she open her eyes wide.   
"Noooo......it's just I'm TOO happy for him......do you mind??" I walk away from her.   
I don't want her to see my nervous and confused face. Despite all I said.......I have to admit that ALL Pan-chan said was true. I'm jealous!! We used to hang out together a lot of times!!!! We talk to each other!!!! He always backing me up whenever I have this arguement with Trunks!! I'm the one who always comforted him when he broke up with his girlfriends!!!!! He's always there for me!!!!! But.....now, we even barely speak to each other!!! It's like....he's vanished from my life!!!!!! I'm not saying that I LOVE him.....it's just I missed him....that's all.   
"Marron-chan??"   
"W-what?" I startled.   
"Do you mind if we go to a restaurant?? I'm starving!!!!" Pan's keep holding her stomache.   
I chuckled, "Sure!!" I grab her hand and we go to a restaurant.

"Can I take your order, Miss??"   
"YES!!!!! I want EVERYTHING on the menu!!!!!" Pan said cheerily.   
My jaw dropped....."....err......Pan-chan, I don't bring that much money......"   
"What?? Oh, okay then......just half of everything on the menu......" she's pretty dissapointed.   
I can see the waitress is as shock as me...hehe.....   
"And what about you Miss??"   
"Errr.....orange juice.......and.....that's all!!" I give her the menu.   
"Alright....it'll be done in few mi-....err.....sorry, hours......" she walk away.   
"Psststt.....Pan-chan!!! You eat like your uncle!!"   
"Hehe...we're all Saiya-jins...."   
"But, I never see B-chan....eat like you guys??"   
"Well........she's NOT a normal Saiya-jin..........." she laughed. I laughed too.   
Until......somehow my eyes got hooked with a couple who sit right across our table. Goten and Paris!!   
"What is it? Marron-chan?" Pan look behind her, "Oh.......sorry......"   
"What?? NO!! Why do you have to be sorry!! I'm happy for him!!!! Please......don't think of me like that!!!!! Goten and I are just bestfriends!!!!!! Hehe......pul-leeze........."   
"No, you're not, Marron-chan.......you're jealous......." Pan keeps telling that, which pissed me off.   
"WOULD YOU STOP THAT, PAN-CHAN?? SO HE IS MY BESTFRIEND!!!!!!!! BUT, THAT DOESN'T MEAN I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!" I yelled at her.   
"Okay......okay........take it easy, will ya'?"   
Apparently, my voice made Goten saw us, "Marron-chan!!!! Pan-chan!!!"   
Oh....my god!! I hope he didn't hear what I just said.   
"What are you guys doing here??" he smiled....I guess he didn't hear it anyway.....   
"Well......you suppose to bring Marron-chan here to find presents for Trunks, remember??" Pan answered it for me.   
"Really?? Hey, I forgot.....hehe.....sorry, Marron......"   
What?? That's it?? He just say sorry with his innocent face, without feeling guilty at all??   
Then, suddenly, Paris, showed up, "C'mon, honey!! We don't want to be late to the theater........." she grab Goten's arm.   
"Oh, okay!! Bye, Marron! Bye, Pan!"   
I'm very angry.....by that time, so I just got up and chase him.   
"ALRIGHT!!!!! THAT'S IT, SON GOTEN!!!!!!!!" I hold him back.   
"Nani??" Goten cunfused.   
"I'M PRETTY PATIENT ALL THIS TIME, Y'KNOW!!!!! YOU'VE FORGOTTEN OUR PROMISES FOR 17 TIMES!!!!!!!! Don't you ever feel guilty????" I yelled at him.   
"I said sorry, didn't I??"   
"IT'S NOT ENOUGH!!!!!! AT LEAST, YOU SHOW ME YOU FELT GUILTY!!!!! AND TRY TO FIX IT WITH TRYING TO KEEP OUR PROMISE....AT LEAST ONCE!!!!!!" people around us start to watch.....but, I don't care anymore......   
"Whoa!! Marron-chan!!! What's this all about??"   
"I'M SAYING THAT SINCE YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, YOU HAD NEVER BEEN AROUND ANYMORE, GOTEN!!!!! I-I-I lost you!!!!! It's like, you're gone from my life!!!!!! You are never there for me, anymore!!!!!!!!!!" without noticing it, my tears start to flowing down my face.   
"Hey!!!!! I'm happy, okay?? And you should ACCEPT the fact, that now.......I'm dating someone!!!!!! I could not be around you all the time!! You're not my girlfriend or anything!!!!"   
"Oh! That's what you think, huh? I'm NO ONE!!!!!!! FINE!!!!!! I'm just NO ONE for you!!!!!!! OKAY, I'll never show my face EVER again in front of you!!!!!! You could keep my words there!!!! BYE!!!!!!!" I left, with Pan chasing me.   
I never know how Goten's react. But that's when......I ACTUALLY realized my feeling for Goten...............afterall this time, I lied to myself. I kept saying to myself, that he's ONLY a friend.....but, obviously...he's more than that to me.......   
I cried and I cried.....until I found a pretty big rock and I sit there.   
"Marron-chan??" Pan walk slowly to me.   
"Oh....my god!! Pan, I was acting childish, neh?? I-I shouldn't say all those words to Goten-kun!! He's right! What was I thinking?? I'm no one!!!!!! I-I'm no...body to him......*sob*........but, I-I-I.........love him.......Pan-chan, all this time I lied to myself...........what should I do now???" then, I cried on her shoulder, crying as hard as I can.   
Pan just keep comforting me.

****

_Well.............Goten DID say sorry to me.....and I accept his apologize along with my apology too. We made up. But, he never know I'm in love with him. And.....all the time, only Pan-chan knew about this. Hhhhh.....well, Goten DID go out with Paris for two years now. And A LOT of things happened in that two years. Goku-san, Trunks and Pan have to go from planet to planet to seek for Dragonballs. All the Z fighters had to fight for this Bebi-guy.....oh, and I once get possesed too. And then, my mother got hypnotized by Super Juunanagou, when we were on a holiday in Satan City. And then, all the enemies are back again and all those until..........Goku-san dissapeared from OUR life._   
_It's all over now.....and all along, Goten and Paris still stick together like stamp and envelope. Goten keep in touch with her, although she's pretty busy, throughout his yellow handphone._   
_I think I will never have hopes to be with Goten, that's why I'm trying my best to forget him, although it's a very hard thing to do. But................a few hours ago.....a shocking and happy, but yet.....a sad news got into my ears._

****

"What is it, Goten?? Why did you told me to come here??" I asked him.   
He looks pretty sad. Then.....he mumbles something.   
"Nani??"   
"Pa-Par-is.......dumped me....."   
"NANI???!?!?!?!?" my eyes open as wide as it can.   
"She said...she has to think of her career............................."   
"Awwwww.......I'm sorry, Goten......" I grab his shoulder, trying to comfort him.   
"What am I suppose to do, Marron?? What am I suppose to do?? I love her SO much!!!" I can't believe this, but Goten ACTUALLY sob.   
Oh......my god! I've just realized.......he's soooo much in love with Paris. I thought their relationship was just a fling. But....seeing Goten sobbing like this, make my heart hurt too. From that second, I knew I would never have his heart.   
"You c-can't do anything, Goten.........she's gonna go to France, right??"   
Goten nods.   
"Unless.................you go to the airport NOW!!!!!!!!"   
"What?"   
"YES!!!! Go to the airport!!! Say to her you love her!!! That you won't be able to live without her!!!!!" I tell him an idea excitedly, although my heart is broken.   
"Are you sure??"   
"YES!!!!! Now, c'mon!!!! You have like, 2 more hours!!!! Catch her!!!!! You don't wanna lose her, don't you??" I convince him.   
Goten shake his head.   
"GOOD!!!! Now, go!!!" I push him through the door. He leave. And, without even notice it, my tears flowing down. I threw myself onto the couch.   
"Marron....are you okay??" Pan suddenly show up from upstairs.   
"PAN!!" I hug her, she hug me back, " I love him!!!!! I actually still love him!!! What should I do, Pan??"   
"What?? Oji-san??? After two years, you're still in love with him??" Pan surprised.   
I nod.   
"Oh, my god................Marron.....I don't know, but........*realizes*......isn't Oji-san broke up with Paris??"   
"Yes.......but, now I know how much he love her............so, I told him to go to the airport........"   
"Marron.........I-I......I'm sorry......."   
I just cry and cry the whole night. And it's getting really late. So, I decided to sleepover at the Son's house.

****

_Well..........that's about it!!!!!! And I won't tell you more......coz my hand is killing me and I'm very sleepy!!!!!!!! Hhhhh.....I guess now.....he's dating her................he's happy with her......I know I should be happy for him!! But, I just can't stop it!! I love him too much 'till it hurt...but, I know at least, I have to try!!!! I gotta go find a date or sumthin'!! Oh, well......gotta go now, Pan can't sleep with lights on.......so, I'll continue tomorrow......oyasumi nasai......._

****

I just can't sleep...........I changed my positions, but it still didn't working!! I guess, I'm still thinking about Goten.   
Ohhhh........what should I do now.....he love her more!! I'm just thinking if things wou--.....wait a minute I hear sounds!!! Is that Goten?? I get up and sneak out. I step on the floor very slowly, so I won't wake Gohan-san, Videl-san, Pan-chan and Chichi-san up.   
I went down the stairs......and I see a figure sitting on the couch, "Goten-kun?"   
"Who's there?" Goten startled.   
"It's me......Marron!!" I come closer.   
"Ohhhh.....sorry, I thought you were---....never mind....." he smile, it's very dark but the moonlight is bright enough to see his cute smile.   
"So, how did it go??" I sit right next to him.   
"Hhhh.....no, Marron-chan....."   
"What?"   
"I didn't do it......"   
"You didn't go the airport??"   
"Oh, I DID go to the airport.....but when I face her, all I said was "So long and farewell"........."   
"NANI?????"   
"Sssshhhhhhhh............"   
"Oh," I cover my mouth. "But, why??"   
"I dunno.........it's just I feel, I don't care anymore, y'know.........."   
"You don't care anymore??"   
"Yeahhh........I just realized, that all this time, I don't really love her!! It's just for fun and, plus, she's a model!! I guess I'm chasing popularity here......" he chuckled.   
"But, Goten-kun........you're sobbing earlier........"   
"Yeahh....maybe, that's just because....I know I'll be single again, you know...........and that's not fun......hehe......."   
"Ohhhh......so, you're okay??"   
"Yeah!! I'm okay!!! Definitely..............and you know what?? I will never break our promise ever again!! I won't let you down ever again, Marron-chan!!!!!" he kissed my forehead.   
I'm blushing, "A-a-arigatou.......Goten-kun..............."

He hug me, friendly. I hug him back. Hhhhhhh.............well, at least now......maybe I'll have some chance. For now......we'll just get back as bestfriends. But, someday.........who knows?? All I know is.......for now......I could be near him, whenever I want....hehe.... Unless......there's another girl again. Ohhhhh...this is going to be VERY HARD!!! But then again......for now.......I'll just enjoy the moonlight together with Goten-kun and hugging each other. But then.......I realized he's asleep......he's very cute when he's asleep.....slowly, I put his head on my lap. And.......now, I can sleep calmly.......*yawns*......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

* * *

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